I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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