I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
