About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
