i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
