If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
