he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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