So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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