We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sorry about my life...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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