I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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