Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
