Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
