Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
