i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
