no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
