we're blogging at a bar
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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