I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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