i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize