I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
