Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
