Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
