My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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