he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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