Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
