So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
