i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
