I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
