i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
