Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
