shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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