I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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