I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
