I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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