I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
