sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
