Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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