haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
