have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
