Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
