last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
