I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
