Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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