I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
