I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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