I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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