Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
