It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
