sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
you never un-have a 4some
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
