i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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