that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
