All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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